Embracing Real Self-Love: A Journey of Empowerment
In a world that often emphasizes external validation, discovering the profound essence of real self-love becomes an invaluable pursuit. As a devoted people pleaser, wife, mother, and community leader, my journey towards self-love has been a transformative one, drawing insights from both personal experiences and scientific research. The following are some helpful tools to cultivate self-love.
Morning Pages - A Ritual of Self-Reflection:
The Artist's Way introduced me to the practice of morning pages, a ritual of waking up early to journal. Scientifically, this reflective exercise has been linked to increased kindness, reduced judgment, heightened compassion, and improved planning skills. It is a cornerstone for enhancing personal growth and fostering better connections with others. I’ve been doing my morning pages for at least five years. It has helped me be less reactive and take the time to analyze situations, reminding me to be compassionate with myself and others. Some days it transforms into a to-do list, and it helps me clear my mind and organize my day with intention. I’ve also learned to be more flexible, if I don’t write in the morning I allow another time during the day to write. It has become a way of medication.
Exercise as the Happy Pill:
Daily exercise emerges as my non-negotiable, my sanctuary for self-care. Scientifically proven to elevate mood, it provides a sense of accomplishment and personal time. It's a powerful reminder that investing in our physical well-being is key to overall happiness and resilience. Time is limited, but making time to move, eliminate toxins with sweat, calm my nervous system with controlled breathing, and let go of stress by pushing my muscles, are self-love, in my opinion in a very efficient way, 45-60 minutes a day!
Navigating Social Media Detox:
Balancing social interactions in the digital realm can be challenging. Limiting social media usage has helped me stay present, boost productivity, and reclaim precious energy. Scientific studies underscore the benefits of mindful technology use, emphasizing the importance of being intentional with our online presence. I have deleted apps from my phone, added a time limit to my social media use, added “Focus: time while working, and I leave my phone in my bathroom to charge usually at 8 pm. It is not perfect, but I consciously try to stay present and set my boundaries.
Communication and Vulnerability:
Learning to communicate effectively, especially in relationships is essential for self-love. Embracing vulnerability deepens connections, while honesty sets us free. The alternative, avoiding communication, which only leads to a sense of loss and disconnection. It’s so easy to disconnect, a few years ago I found myself disconnecting with Camilo. Looking back it was due to the amount of change we had. Having a baby, moving to a new city, losing a baby, changing jobs. It was easier to drift away from each other than to connect. We grew apart. I found new interests and kept myself busy, and excited, however, I knew those distractions were creating a space in my heart. Not until I started working on myself that I realized I needed to end or work on our relationship with my partner, Camilo. When I let myself be vulnerable and opened my heart to communicate we started changing our relationship. I was referred to Dr. Havilley Hendrix and Dr. Helen Lakelly Hunt’s methodology and through their guide that combines behavioral science, psychology, social learning theory, and interpersonal neuroscience, Camilo and I started connecting deeply again, becoming conscious partners and embracing our communication. We learned to feel safe again, and joyful together while learning The Imago Dialogue. We have learned to embrace mutual acceptance, affirmation, and empathy. Being able to communicate better has allowed me to love more feel loved and love myself more,
Orgasm and Self-Connection:
Exploring the pleasure of orgasms, whether with a partner or solo, is a powerful act of self-love. Beyond the immediate joy, it releases stress and fosters a connection with oneself. Recognizing the availability of this simple yet profound pleasure promotes a healthier mindset toward self-love. Pay attention to your menstrual cycle. You can have a better climax during your ovulation period. Make it a point to have a mindblowing orgasm during this time of your menstrual cycle. You will feel more connected to your partner, your brain releases massive amounts of oxytocin and dopamine; connecting and feeling good neurotransmitters. It reduces stress and helps you improve your sleep quality. Do you need more reasons to make it a priority?
Self-Massage and Gratitude:
Engaging in self-massage with oils serves as a beautiful expression of gratitude towards our bodies. This act of pure self-love reinforces the importance of acknowledging and appreciating our physical selves. I learn this technique from Dana Denton, a Female Energy Coach. She had me series of different exercises to improve my self-love and body awareness.
Cooking for Nourishment:
Cooking becomes a self-loving act when viewed as nourishment for the body. Embracing the discipline of meal preparation contributes to increased energy levels and better overall health, reinforcing the concept that self-love extends to how we care for our bodies. To start, build a pantry with all the good things you need such as nuts, seeds, and grains. Make time in your schedule to plan, do groceries, and cook. To make it fun, I like to try a new recipe at least once a month, I involve my family to cook with me. I also play music while dancing/cooking.
The Joy of Learning:
Challenging our brains with new experiences fosters personal growth and self-love. Acquiring new skills stimulates cognitive function and offers a sense of accomplishment, making the pursuit of knowledge a fascinating and fulfilling aspect of our self-love journey. I make this happen by making it a priority. Again, add it to my calendar, Understanding why I’m trying to learn helps me when I dont feel like putting in the effort.
Real self-love goes beyond selfishness; it's an opportunity to be better for ourselves and the world around us. By incorporating practices like morning pages, exercise, social media detox, effective communication, pleasure exploration, self-massage, cooking, and continuous learning, we embark on a holistic journey towards true self-love, transforming not only our lives but also the lives of those we touch.
Diana
